Al Franken

“They tell you in this country to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and we all believe that. But first you got to have the boots. And the government gave them the boots. And that's why I'm a Democrat.”

“In the United States everybody here is an immigrant or from immigrants, everybody. Unless you're an American Indian, and you have a right to be pissed off if you are.”

“I explained to him what jokes were. And what the proper reaction to a joke is.”

“He's a guy that microwaves fish in the lunchroom. He just doesn't get along.”